“I’m still single because British television has given me unrealistic expectations of men? …”

– Photo Credit: http://10minutewriter.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Picture-36.png

Recently I was reminded that chivalry isn’t dead. Not that I thought it was by any means. If you’re like me and watch any British television series (think Downton Abbey or Jane Austen) ‘chivalry’ just doesn’t have the same appeal as it used to. And so it shouldn’t. Times have changed, and so have we.

“You are mistaken, Mr. Darcy, if you suppose that the mode of your declaration affected me in any other way, than as it spared the concern which I might have felt in refusing you, had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner.”

– Elizbeth Bennett 

Actions Speak Louder Than Love Letters

From love letters, to phone calls, to text messages, whatever your idea of chivalry is, everyone is different. If your partner truly cares for you, they will show you in their own way, whether it be by fixing your car, or completing all of their items on their Honey Do list, to picking up groceries for you. The common theme? Thoughtfulness. While everyone is different, there will be different versions of what it means to be thoughtful.

Not romantic enough for you? Keep reading …

Mind Reading

I believe it’s a catch twenty-two for some couples in relationships. Some people expect their partners to read their minds and always be on the same page. Realistically, this isn’t the way a relationship, or life for that matter, works. As is true in life, if you want something, ask for it. Don’t assume that just because your partner doesn’t whisk you away to a private island like you have been daydreaming about, or possibly dropping less than subtle hints for, that you two are not meant for each other.

The Other Mr. Darcy

“Never let yourself be swayed by emotions,’ her mother had said. ‘Emotions are fleeting. They come and go. But reality stays with you forever.” -The Other Mr. Darcy 

In examining the characters from Jane Austen, I am always left wondering, why does Mr. Darcy get all of the credit for being chivalrous? Sure he writes love letters and opens doors, but he also leads Caroline Bingley on. Am I still single because British television has given me unrealistic expectations of men, or because modern day men are still acting like Mr. Darcy? It is for this reason, and many others that I sure hope the definition and standards of chivalry have in fact changed over the years.

I have learned that I would try to never rearrange my life in order to meet Mr. Darcy halfway. If he doesn’t value me now, he won’t years from now.

The Other Mr. Darcy’s of the world have shown me that they are, ‘a bit old fashioned’ in that they think a man should still open doors and pay for dinner. These men however, don’t expect me to meet them halfway, and all that they really hope for is to maximize their time spent with me.

How to: Lose a Girl Over the Weekend

I recently entered in to the world of online dating (as of last week and after much hesitation) and already have my very own tale to tell.

Our story begins on a sunny winter weekend with what I believed to be my first (promising) potential match.

I soon realized I couldn’t have been more wrong. My intuition kicked in after he asked me to meet him on the same day that we had started emailing, to go on a hike, alone … “because, why not? we both love hiking!”

I stated that I wasn’t comfortable meeting in such a setting, particularly after such a quick emailing experience, and that I was new to the site.

He proceeded to challenge me on this and tried to convince me of the benefits to meeting.

The following is an excerpt from an email sent to me from Mr. Wonderful:

… “In any case, how do you see your Eharmony messages moving over into real-life? More messages for a while? Phone? Hike next Saturday? Dinner date next Saturday?”

I became really uncomfortable as the emails started to become longer and longer, arguing against anything I had written.

The straw that broke the camels back and sent me running for the hills?

He suggested that I not ever delete / block him without providing my real email and/ or phone number. He also cautioned that I better not ‘move on’ because that would be “so tragic.”
(As he kept insisting that we meet sooner than later in case one of us becomes less interested or meets someone else).

Since ‘Must love dogs’ is on my list of Must Haves, I had questioned my potential match about his feelings towards animals. He replied that he was impartial to dogs. I then wondered if he was also impartial to life?

Our story ends with the final email exchange in which my match asked me how I “felt about chickens,” and describing how he truly has a soft spot and love for them.

Some characteristics of chickens include:

“Chickens are social birds who enjoy the company of their flock. Despite their sociability, they maintain a definite hierarchy in their flock. Chickens work out their pecking order to determine who eats, roosts, drinks and mates first. A peaceful flock has a well-established pecking order, though birds sometimes challenge each other to move higher.”

There is nothing I want less in this world than a pushy rooster.

This hen has flown from that coop.

The Disney Princess (Dress) Syndrome

As the moment was unfolding, all I could think to myself was, is he expecting me to stand out on a busy street corner and kiss him in my bridesmaids dress?

Is this my own version of the Disney princess (dress) syndrome?

“I shall never wear a princess dress to make you believe in a Disney love again.”

Now That I Know Better

“Now that I know better, I will do better.” – Maya Angelou. My favourite inspirational quote is by Maya Angelou, and is also featured on my blog. This quote reflects, what I believe to be, one of the greatest lessons in life.  Maya Angelou’s writing is an inspiration to me. Every time I get a chance to say these words, I do. These words have been freeing for me. What they mean for me is that I don’t have to hold myself hostage to who I ‘used to be’ or to anything I used to do.

Dr. Maya Angelou is a remarkable Renaissance woman who is hailed as one of the great voices of contemporary literature. As a poet, educator, historian, best-selling author, actress, playwright, civil-rights activist, producer and director, she continues to travel the world, spreading her legendary wisdom.

Read more here at: http://mayaangelou.com/

Maya Angelou

 

 

Liebster Award Nomination and Nominees

Liebster Award Nomination and Nominees

Thank you to whatshedoesnow (http://whatshedoesnow.com/) for nominating me for the Liebster Award for my blog: How To Lose a Girl in Ten Days.

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I was flattered (to say the least) to see that I had been nominated among all of the other wonderful blogs. Thank you so much to whatshedoesnow.  Upon some research, I discovered that the rules of the Liebster award:  The Liebster award is aimed at promoting new bloggers with less than 200 followers, and has been around for quite a while connecting bloggers in the blogging community. What a great opportunity for exposure and to really get to discover other talented bloggers out there!

Rules:

1. Provide a link back to the blogger who nominated you.

2. Post 11 random facts about you.

3. Answer 11 random questions set by the blogger who nominated you.

4. Nominate 11 bloggers with under 200 followers for the award (excluding who nominated you).

5. Let the nominees know you have nominated them.

Here we go!

Eleven Random Facts About Myself:

1.  I am a natural redhead.

2.  I believe yoga is as necessary for the body as drinking enough water and getting enough exercise.

3.  I am a lifelong learner.

4.  I want to be a famous writer / blogger one day, not for the fortune or the fame, but instead so I can truly say I do what I love. (Well . . maybe just fifteen minutes of fame?!)

5.  One day I plan to run a half marathon.

6.  My friends and family are the most important things in the world to me.

7.  One day I would LOVE to get my Masters in literature (once I am in my thirties, as I didn’t know well enough to pursue it in my early twenties) …

8.  The CBC television series: Being Erica is my own form of personal therapy, and is the inspiration for many of my blog posts.

9.  I love inspirational quotes. (Always have, always will!)

10.  I love England and wish I could live there someday …

11.  Tea is my preferred drink of choice.

Eleven Questions from whatshedoesnow (and my responses):

1. What’s your inspiration when it comes to blogging?

Growing up, reading and writing were my passions, as well as my escape. I loved writing anything from poems to songs, to mystery series.

2. What is your favourite inspirational quote?

“Now that I know better, I will do better.” – Maya Angelou. My favourite inspirational quote is by Maya Angelou, and is also featured on my blog. This quote reflects, what I believe to be, one of the greatest lessons in life.  Maya Angelou’s writing is an inspiration to me. Every time I get a chance to say these words, I do. These words have been freeing for me. What they mean for me is that I don’t have to hold myself hostage to who I ‘used to be’ or to anything I used to do.

Because who has lived, and hasn’t made mistakes? I am hoping my blog can inspire others to adopt a similar mantra.

3. Describe yourself in three words.

Genuine; Inspired; Creative

4. What three things would you bring with you to a desert island?

Three things I would bring with me to a desert island would be my journal; my dog and my yoga mat.

5. What’s your favourite beauty tip?

As a natural redhead, mascara is my staple! I would say my favourite (mascara) beauty tip is: Don’t crimp lashes after mascara.

“Never. Crimp. After. Mascara. Simple as that. When your eyelashes are coated with mascara, they will stick to the curler, and being wet from mascara, they are more brittle and vulnerable to even slight tugging. So when you put 2 and 2 together, WET + WEAK + SLIGHT TUG = ALL EYELASHES PULLED OUT! Even if they don’t get all pulled out, crimping after mascara application results in eyelashes that have an awkward and unnatural kink. Always crimp your lashes first, then apply mascara.” (http://bunbunmakeuptips.com/5-common-mascara-mistakes/)

6. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

If I could live anywhere in the world, I would live in New York City. I know I mentioned wanting to live in England in my Random Facts About Me section, however in my late twenties, the city is calling my name. My dream is to go to NYU to pursue my Masters in Literature and become a writer. #Carrie Bradshaw?

7. If you had one million euro, what would you do with it?

If I had one million euro, I would travel abroad and buy a flat in England. I would also donate some of that million euro to various SPCA locations across Ontario.

8. What are your guilty pleasures?

Some of my guilty pleasures are: baking; blogging; running; chocolate; and beauty products (all in no particular order).

9. What is your favourite thing about blogging?

My favourite thing about blogging is being able to share my experiences with others who have similar interests, and who can relate to, be inspired, and enjoy my writing.  

10. What is your aim for 2014?

My aim for 2014 is to continue blogging (and keep up with it!); improve and expand on my writing style and technique; make plans (in the future) to pursue a Masters degree in literature; and continue to make the most out of each and every day.  

For this particular blog especially, behind each of my blog posts is a powerful message: ‘now that I know better, I will do better.”  Because who has lived, and hasn’t made mistakes? I hope that How To Lose a Girl in Ten Days can inspire others to adopt a similar mantra.

11. Who is your favourite blogger?

OhSheGlows: http://ohsheglows.com/ is currently my favourite blogger because she was the inspiration for my other blog: Crabby and Cute in the Vegan Kitchen: (http://crabbyandcute.wordpress.com/).

OhSheGlows is a recipe blog where the author celebrates her love for vegan food.  “In addition to being meat and dairy-free, many of my recipes are free of gluten, soy, and processed foods.” Her story is inspirational and her blog has won many awards.

Read more at: http://ohsheglows.com/#ixzz2qbhinm7A

11 Blogs I Nominate 

1.  http://www.kimberfire.com/

2.  www.beautyonthebayou.com

3.  http://hair-and-beauty-reviews.blogspot.co.uk

4.  http://www.littleworldcalledwonderland.blogspot.ca/

5.  http://www.naomitalksbeauty.com/

6.  http://www.ajournalofeverything.com/

7.  http://the-glossy.com/

8.  http://wordsandherbs.wordpress.com/

9.  http://crazygoangirl.wordpress.com/

10.  http://roaring20twentys.wordpress.com/

11.  http://danielle7silverman.wordpress.com/

Now it’s your turn nominees:

My 11 Questions for Nominees

1.  When and why did you decide to write your blog?

2.  Who (is/are) / (a/some) major influence(s) in your life and why?

3.  Describe your experience(s) in blogging / writing.

4.  What is one important life lesson that you have learned?

5.  What is your favourite quote?

6.  Assuming money is no issue, if you could donate to any charity in the world, which would you donate to and why?

7.  If you won the lottery, what would you do with your winnings?

8.  If you could go back and change one moment in your life, would you? If so, what would it be and why?

9.  What is one of your favourite things about blogging?

10.  What are some of your goals for 2014?

11.  Who is your favourite blogger and why?

Please let me know when you post your responses. 🙂

Letting go of the past and opening the gift that is the present..

Happy NYE everyone! 🙂

It was the season to be jolly .. and now it is a time to reflect on our year.

As we say goodbye to 2013, and open our hearts and minds to the opportunities and possibilities of 2014, one of the most important questions to ask yourself is: ‘Am I happy?’

“Let go of blaming anyone for anything; be accountable for your own life. If you don’t like something, you have two choices, accept it or change it.”

Recently I was questioned about my happiness and my single-ton status: “Are you sure you’ve dealt with your feelings?” / “Are you sure you aren’t running from something?” / “You must be lonely; cats are great but they aren’t enough.”

Did I feel better after all the questioning was over? No. I knew it was coming from a place of love and concern and I did feel supported. At the same time however, I was also spun into a sea of self-reflection, and once I surfaced, I quickly realized if I could go back, instead of continuing to break down, I would have answered all of the questions with an honest reply: “I am happy with the person who I am at this very moment. The person who is standing in front of you is stronger, she is more confident, more aware, more thankful and most importantly, she is happy with who she is and who she has become.”

So the next time you see me, be sure to ask: ‘Are you content with being a ‘crazy cat lady?’

Most likely my answer will be: “Yes … and thank you for the compliment.”

We all need a little crazy in our lives, as well as compassion towards animals.

You have your own story to write this year, and 365 pages to use up. Use each one of them up, and make every word count.

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In One Word: Dating

As a single lady it has been quite a luxury to feel calm and content with myself and everything around me.

I have had no anxiety over waiting to hear from someone. I don’t bother asking myself: ‘Do I call him?’ / ‘Is he thinking about me?’ / ‘I wonder what he’s doing right now?’

In the past, this was often followed by:

‘Why hasn’t he called me? / Should I call him?

Complete with:

‘I must have said or done something wrong.’

And the Grand Finale: (or the acceptance stage as I refer to it)

‘It’s his loss… ‘

I’ve been so content, that I’m starting to forget how it feels to be on the other side.

The other side brings with it a thrilling anticipation that you feel in the pit of your stomach; the hopeful anxiety that is quite often paired with a sense of dread. The dread that comes from the unknown territory that you’ve stumbled upon.

In one word: dating.

I’ve Looked At Love From Both Sides Now …

I never meant to hurt him and I certainly didn’t do anything on purpose. When I ended the relationship, I felt like I was doing all the giving and he was doing all the taking.

I see things in a different light now. This has only come with time, and is based upon my unique and personal experiences.

“I’ve looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It’s love’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know love at all…”
– Joni Mitchell

I think Joni Mitchell knew what she was talking about, don’t you?

Because I see things a bit differently now.

I can see things better from both sides now . . .